I've written extensively about neurodiversity, including here on medium.

But I will push back on a few of your points. One is that CBT absolutely can change neurochemistry, and brain circuitry, and this has been shown for individuals with panic attacks, depression, and ADHD.

Also there is not one simple gene for ADHD. The data is very consistent that for most individuals with ADHD, hundreds of genes are each contributing a tiny amount to the propensity to have ADHD, and many of these are the same genes that predispose to ASD, or to depression, or other mental health conditions.

The most recent meta-analyses of brain structure and ADHD find that the findings are inconsistent - very poor replication between studies, and many of the aberrant patterns are actually similar to what is seen in depression or even schizophrenia. If we had distinctive patterns regarding connectivity, then we would have effective biomarkers for diagnosing ADHD, which we do not have at this time.