This is a topic I'm evolving on. My current thought is that if the concept/label helps you to understand yourself, great, use it and benefit from that, whether or not the diagnosis comes from you, your friends, or a professional. But if others, and particularly if professionals, are pointing out reasons they think the diagnosis doesn't fit, or may need to be amended somehow, that would be important information to attend to.

Certainly in the field of adult ADHD (which is adjacent to those dealing with autism spectrum issues) many many professionals still fail to recognize ADHD when it is present and causing impairment and distress. And gender differences in how conditions get expressed and whether others recognize them is certainly one complicating part of the puzzle.